That Thing Which Screams A Whisper: Drug Addiction in America
Jeanne Sparks-Carreker
March 21, 2007
BIRMINGHAM-Addictions can be deadly. I should have been dead already, many times over, from overdoing opiates, methadone, “Liquid G,” and the queen that locked me in the tower, crystal meth. I sincerely hope I can intelligently warn others in a powerful manner to never try any drug, not even those that everyone sees as “low-grade,” or “non-addictive,” safer drugs.
Even if a drug’s addiction rate is not very significant, the behavior can be. See, even now, there are those readers who are justifying using by telling themselves “Okay, I just won’t get to that point. I just won’t use beyond that level.” Do you think anyone planned to allow it to get to any further point besides the levels of enjoyment they experienced at the beginning? In this way, it is plain to see, addicts do not control drugs. The drugs control the addict.
The moment you try a drug for any reason different than what a pharmaceutical is prescribed for (and note now that there is never any reason to try an illegal or illicit drug), your life, your limits, your past goals and beliefs, change. There is a doorway that was not there before. Whether you are sad, anxious, or even happy, you will eventually find an excuse to use again. That doorway will be there, and with it comes a room full of ways to use again, complete with a filing system and a “just in case I ever decide to again” folder, tucked neatly away in your mind.
Stuck inside during a winter storm with no power and nothing to do? Bored silly? That doorway will loom in front of you. Did your Grandmother pass away? That doorway of escape is there. Once you use a drug however many times it takes your body to build a tolerance and your mind to decide, “Hey, this is it,” nothing is ever the same again. Ever.
When It Is Not Enough Anymore
After the addiction begins taking its course and all you think of when you get up in the morning (if you go to bed at all because you are not on crystal meth) is getting high in order to face the day, it becomes difficult to find a natural joy in things without that particular substance. After a while, you cannot find joy at all, even when you are high. That’s when most people “graduate” to the method of “running” or “banging” (intravenous usage) their DOC (drug of choice).
Thankfully, I never “graduated” to this level. I was given early release from my time as a drug addict, compliments of the State of Alabama. However, I have seen one person get away from “the needle” and quit successfully. One person. I have known more addicts than I can remember or count, as I had been on drugs for years. Moreover, not every “shooter” reveals their method of using, so there is really no way to calculate the exact amount of people I have known who did this. The only one I have known to successfully quit for more than one year’s time is a counselor here in Birmingham. Those who know the powerful grip of addiction still wonder when he will return to shooting K-4’s (Dilaudid).
Unfortunately, many usually find that they have already contracted Hepatitis or HIV. This creates a bigger reason to just keep on using. On a side note, Hepatitis does not only come from shared intravenous usage. Opiates, such as Lortab, or its “cure,” the legal government drug deal, Methadone, can wear on the body to such a degree that the liver is left freely exposed to Hepatitis. I knew a couple of clients at a local Methadone clinic who died from Hep C, and they never touched a needle, were married to each other for more than 10 years, and did not engage in sexual promiscuity.
The Addiction to The Method of Usage
As well, “banging,” “shooting up,” or “running” a drug becomes another addiction in and of itself. When unable to score (find and use) methamphetamine, many shoot up water, any pill they can find, or even the oil from peanut butter that they cooked down in a spoon and pulled into the syringe, to satiate the actual addiction of shooting something. Therefore, the method or ritual of using becomes a habit as strong as the addiction itself. Sometimes the habit of how one used a drug is just as addictive.
After having been clean (having abstained from the drug) about a year from crystal meth, I remember missing the ritual of pouring meth out on foil and smoking it by inhaling the smoke through a straw or Bic Pen casing. I missed snorting something, anything. I did not miss the drug itself, or even the high, as much as I missed the ritual and how I used it. Having been clean a year, I did not crave the ritual as one would crave a drug, but I missed the method I practiced over and over so many times before.
Societal Temptation
Drugs are glamorized in this country in every form of entertainment, in school, and even in doctor’s offices. Need to lose weight? Tada! Here’s you some Phentermine! Now you can get addicted to speed! Need to calm down and relax more? Tada! Here’s you some Xanax or Valium. Now you can get addicted to Benzos and Downers! Don’t cross the two! Don’t cross with alcohol! Have minimal pain that plain ol’ Tylenol would probably cure if you really thought about it? Tada! Here’s some Lorcet! Still hurting? Here’s some Lorcet Plus! Still hurting? Here’s some OC 10’s! Still hurting? Here’s some OC 20’s . . . and by then, it’s easy to see that Mama ain’t hurtin’ no more. If she is, it’s because she’s “without” (does not have any pills).
Outside of “doc shopping” (playing sick to obtain pills), there are other avenues in which drugs are introduced to society: music artists, movies, and even the slang we use to converse in this country: “Why you trippin’?” To “trip” refers to using acid or LSD. “Take a chill pill!” “Dude, why you crackin’ on me?”
“Chickenhead!”
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Or email the author at: h2oforthegaslit@hotmail.com
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